Values vs. Goals
Action is more fulfilling when it’s purposeful. When you know why you’re doing something, you can connect it to the bigger picture of your life and create a deeper sense of meaning from it. Otherwise your actions - and living itself - can feel futile.
Two ways of making your actions purposeful are to work towards a goal or align your behaviors with your values. Let’s explore the two.
GOALS
Goals are desired accomplishments or states or being that you want to experience sometime in the future. They are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time bound (oh hey SMART goals).
Goals have a clear destination, a distinct moment in time when the goal is accomplished. Working towards a goal is like following a map from Point A to Point B.
A goal looks like: “ I will complete a Master of Fine Arts program in Drawing and Painting by the time I turn 30”.
Goals can be broken down into smaller steps. If you’ve ever worked towards a big goal, you know how fulfilling it is to accomplish those smaller goals along the way. It’s the feeling of crossing items off of a to-do list or unlocking the next step. Progress towards the goal is obvious because you’re paying attention to it, and you likely charted out your path from beginning to end.
In our example, you know you’re taking a Studio Painting class because it’s a necessary step to reach your goal.
Once you achieve the goal (get the MFA), you can check that off the list and enjoy the fruits of your labor — or, for all my hustlers, move on to the next!
In therapy, goals are especially useful for people experiencing depression, social anxiety, ADHD, low motivation, self-doubt, and feelings of overwhelm.
VALUES
Values are beliefs about what’s important to you in life. They are the principles you want to stand for. They are the things you would do just about anything to protect. They are what’s compromised when you’re in the middle of a conflict. You freely choose your own values, although they are certainly influenced by family, culture, lived experience, and your current situation.
Values are our heart’s deepest desires for the way we want to interact with the world, other people, and ourselves. They’re what we want to stand for in life, how we want to behave, what sort of person we want to be, what sorts of strengths and qualities we want to develop.
Acting in alignment with your values is like following an infinite map that has no clear destination but is guiding you through the most scenic and rewarding journey.
Unlike goals, values happen in the here and now. You can’t “achieve” a value. Instead, you live out a value through ongoing committed action.
Values look like: creativity, humor, freedom, self-development, community.
You can’t craft a clear step-by-step path to achieve creativity or humor. You live out these values by doing things like taking improv classes, sketching, or setting aside time to write in your journal.
In therapy, values are especially useful for people experiencing anxiety, life transitions, identity confusion, relationship challenges, uncertainty, or feelings of being lost, stuck, or trapped.
And here’s the most important part: Values give you a reason to tolerate pain, discomfort, and uncertainty.
When you recognize there is a value underlying your suffering, the suffering changes shape. The suffering is something you are tolerating in service of your value. Your pain, although difficult, is necessary for you to experience meaning and fulfillment.
Dang...that’s a sneak peek into a future blog post :)
In summary:
How have you used goals & values in your therapeutic work?
What questions do you still have about working with the two?
Reach out if you’re curious about how they can help you.